{"id":28241,"date":"2026-02-06T12:44:01","date_gmt":"2026-02-06T20:44:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/?p=28241"},"modified":"2026-02-06T12:44:03","modified_gmt":"2026-02-06T20:44:03","slug":"online-dating-in-my-50s","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/online-dating-in-my-50s\/","title":{"rendered":"What Online Dating In My 50s Taught Me About Myself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My mother was lying half asleep with her eyes closed in a hospital room after heart surgery and suffering from a stroke. She periodically spoke, mostly random thoughts, and I was cherishing all of them. \u201cI long for my husband,\u201d she said through tears, and I tried to console her by saying that Dad\u2019s spirit was with us in the room. \u201cYou are lucky you had such a good husband for 36 years, I still haven\u2019t found one,\u201d I reminded her. She suddenly opened her eyes, turned her head, and pointed at me. \u201cStop looking!\u201d she said. And then she closed her eyes and fell asleep. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am a 52-year-old woman. I\u2019ve never been married, and I have no children. I\u2019ve never actually been engaged. (Supposedly some rings were purchased, but I never saw them.) I think there were about three men that I seriously considered marrying or becoming their lifelong partner. I\u2019ve lived an unconventional life, both personally and professionally. I enjoy a freedom that allows me to explore and develop my interests \u2014 ocean swimming, painting, mosaics, writing, traveling, hiking, psychology, meditating, and cooking \u2014 and I’ve grown very accustomed to living alone. I cherish my independence. I am happily single but sometimes yearn for a partner that will enhance my life. I don\u2019t want drama and constant complications. I won\u2019t tolerate bread crumbs from a man because I know I deserve the full loaf.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

“I won\u2019t tolerate bread crumbs from a man because I know I deserve the full loaf.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I have dabbled in online dating over the past few years, dating men between the ages of 45 to 65. Those dates have given me enough material for a stand-up comedy routine. There was the math professor who revealed he had a foot fetish and a small \u201cmember\u201d on our first date; the newly separated guy who agreed to a monogamous relationship and then after a few weeks, asked if we could make out with other people; the seemingly nerdy guy who told me that he and his ex-wife regularly participated in threesomes; the engineer, who hoarded electronic equipment and slept with a large synthesizer; and the techie dude whose house was ruled by his operating system and was offended when I jokingly made rude comments to \u201cSiri.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve used about four different online dating platforms throughout the years. They are all pretty similar, although the newer sites seem more impersonal with the swiping left and right features. I typically look at all the pictures and read the content unless the main photo is a turn-off \u2014 such as bathroom selfies, a picture of a couple, anyone wearing MAGA gear, or a guy who looks like he just rolled out of a cardboard box on the street. Other red flags include using a moniker rather than a real name; no occupation listed; a list of all the things they don\u2019t want in a partner; sexual comments; men in \u201copen\u201d relationships; or couples looking for a threesome.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I do match with someone, and we seem to have a good connection, I will share my number after a message exchange \u2014 sometimes the same day, sometimes after a few weeks. I would rather speak to the person and get a feeling for them sooner rather than later. I tend to like men who are decisive and want to actually talk and meet within a week or two. I don\u2019t have the bandwidth to message over a long period of time with several men.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First dates are usually meeting for coffee or over a meal. I rarely get nervous anymore, and I dress appropriately for the location, which I often pick \u2014 quiet locations where you can actually hear each other well. I also let a friend know about the date, and I text them after to let them know I\u2019m safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

“My mother died three weeks after she told me to ‘Stop looking!’ The phrase lingers in my mind and heart.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

My mother died three weeks after she told me to \u201cStop looking!\u201d The phrase lingers in my mind and heart. The message seemed divine because she rarely spoke the last few months of her life and often wasn\u2019t very alert. When she said that phrase, she came to life in that brief instance, imparting her wisdom. But when December approached last year \u2014 the first holiday season without my mother \u2014 I felt lonely and vulnerable, so I hopped back online. I met a man who was hilarious, creative, and empathetic regarding the loss of my mother. He was also recently separated, between jobs, and admitted to addiction issues, so I knew it was not going to last. After a month, we decided to part as friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My mother\u2019s words \u201cStop looking!\u201d streamed back into my consciousness as I felt like I failed her and myself with that final online dating experience. I had already vowed to \u201cstop looking,\u201d but I dated him anyway, even though I knew it wasn\u2019t going to last. Then I realized I didn\u2019t fail \u2014 I was simply human and wanted some comfort and distraction during the first holiday season without my mother. That last brief online dating experience served as a good reminder that online dating wasn\u2019t the healthiest option for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\n

My mom\u2019s simple phrase, \u201cStop looking!\u201d grows deeper in meaning as time passes. I realize now she wasn\u2019t just talking about dating men. Everything I seek or need is within me. My life purpose is about pursuing my passions: Writing, art projects, travel, open water swimming<\/a>, advocating for marginalized people, and spending time with loved ones. I have \u201cstopped looking,\u201d and I am content with moving through life with an open heart and mind. I focus on connecting and maintaining close relationships with friends and members of my family and staying open to new experiences and people.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n
\n

\u201cMy mom\u2019s simple phrase, ‘Stop looking!’ grows deeper in meaning as time passes. I realize now she wasn’t just talking about dating men.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

The following Warsan Shire<\/a> quote sums up my attitude about entering into a relationship, \u201cMy alone feels so good, I\u2019ll only have you if you\u2019re sweeter than my solitude.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Stefanie Vallejo Monahan<\/a> <\/strong>is a special education teacher in San Luis Obispo County, CA. She has a BA in Journalism and a MA in Special Education. She enjoys spending time in nature, travel, organic foods and creative endeavors. She is the proud aunt of 6 nieces and 3 nephews.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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One writer shares how motherly wisdom guided her to discontinue online dating in her 50s.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":180,"featured_media":71934,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"_enable_custom_container":false,"_custom_container_max_width":"","_is_legacy_styles_disabled":true,"_is_thumbnail_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[325,7],"tags":[297,18,78,4,26],"class_list":["post-28241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","category-self","tag-reader-essays-related-reading","tag-relationships","tag-relationships-featured","tag-self","tag-self-featured"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Online Dating In My 50s Taught Me About Myself - The Good Trade<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"One writer shares how motherly wisdom guided her to discontinue online dating in her 50s.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/online-dating-in-my-50s\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Online Dating In My 50s Taught Me About Myself\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"One writer shares how motherly wisdom guided her to discontinue online dating in her 50s.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/online-dating-in-my-50s\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Good Trade\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/thegoodtrade\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-02-06T20:44:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-02-06T20:44:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/what-online-dating-in-my-50s-taught-me-header-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1414\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2048\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Stefanie Vallejo Monahan\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@thegoodtrade\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@thegoodtrade\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Stefanie Vallejo Monahan\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/online-dating-in-my-50s\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/online-dating-in-my-50s\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Stefanie Vallejo Monahan\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/#\/schema\/person\/42a858ab0e7e506a21a538278457ba7d\"},\"headline\":\"What Online Dating In My 50s Taught Me About Myself\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-02-06T20:44:01+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-02-06T20:44:03+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/online-dating-in-my-50s\/\"},\"wordCount\":1102,\"commentCount\":13,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/online-dating-in-my-50s\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/what-online-dating-in-my-50s-taught-me-header-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"reader essays related reading\",\"relationships\",\"relationships featured\",\"self\",\"self featured\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Relationships\",\"Self\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/online-dating-in-my-50s\/#respond\"]}],\"copyrightYear\":\"2026\",\"copyrightHolder\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/#organization\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/online-dating-in-my-50s\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/online-dating-in-my-50s\/\",\"name\":\"What Online Dating In My 50s Taught Me About Myself - 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