{"id":70040,"date":"2025-12-31T17:04:31","date_gmt":"2026-01-01T01:04:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/?p=70040"},"modified":"2026-01-06T16:41:27","modified_gmt":"2026-01-07T00:41:27","slug":"how-to-keep-new-years-resolutions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thegoodtrade.com\/features\/how-to-keep-new-years-resolutions\/","title":{"rendered":"A Gentle Way To Set Intentions That Actually Stick"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Most years, I don\u2019t set resolutions. I\u2019ve always shied away from the endeavor, not bold enough to announce my intentions because \u2014 well, what if I didn\u2019t end up following through? The looming failure and embarrassment have been enough to deter me from even admitting to myself what I hope for in the year to come. Not to mention that the resolution itself seems to amount to a kind of failure: \u201cI haven\u2019t been able to do this (yet).\u201d \ud83e\udee0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s true for most of us, whether you usually set intentions or not, that the New Year’s resolution is embroiled in bad feelings. The resolution is usually a representation of somewhere we\u2019ve failed in the past or a place we\u2019d like to get to but don\u2019t know how to reach. Insufficiency leads the charge when, after a holiday break full of allowing ourselves extra snacks, desserts, and leisurely moments by the fire, we try to snap back into action and become a new, more perfect person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

“It\u2019s true for most of us that the New Year’s resolution is embroiled in bad feelings.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

This year, I\u2019m trying to seize this opportunity to look ahead with a renewed vision for my life. Rather than simply avoiding all the difficulty and bad feelings around the resolution, I thought I\u2019d examine them in order to reset the course. Where do our resolutions go wrong? And how can we set them right? This investigation was my first step in reclaiming the resolution for myself, towards a more sustainable and gentle approach to realizing my dreams for the year to come. I hope that if you feel inspired yet ambivalent about how to approach the new year, this helps you, too. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t forget yourself in the process<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Picture yourself at this time next year, having made another revolution around the sun. Who do you see in your mind\u2019s eye? Is she drastically different than who you are right now? If so, in what way? Or does she look familiar \u2014 maybe slightly older and wiser than you are now?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we make resolutions, we tend to imagine a new version of ourselves. The version of us that takes up the resolution will be different, we think. She\u2019ll do things right. She\u2019ll do the things I\u2019ve failed to do in the past. Who is this woman, except a more perfect person, without the desires and difficulties that make us set our resolution in the first place? This kind of thinking only makes it all the more unclear how we might ever get from here to there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

“Instead of ‘New year, new you,’ consider starting by embracing who you are.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Instead of \u201cNew year, new you,\u201d consider starting by embracing who you are \u2014 your faults, your strengths \u2014 and setting goals from there. Ground your resolution in things you actually want to do<\/em>. That way, when you introduce a new practice into your life \u2014 be it working out, writing daily, or something else \u2014 it won\u2019t be punishing and disorienting. Instead, your work towards your resolution will be a refuge where you can continually rediscover yourself, living the life you want. If you aren\u2019t sure how to bridge the gap between your current life and the person you want to be, read on for more advice!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

It isn\u2019t about fixing things, it\u2019s about clarifying them<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

The new year has traditionally been observed in the spring<\/a>, when nature is renewing itself, too. It isn\u2019t exactly natural to try to start anew in the depths of a cold, dark winter. Don\u2019t forget that your thinking right now may be inflected with post-holiday feelings. Try not to let yourself be guided by backlash as you consider who you want to be in the coming year. Whether it\u2019s backlash against our natural tendency to hermit in the winter, or to leisurely enjoy the holidays, it shouldn\u2019t define how you approach the next 12 months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

“Try not to let yourself be guided by backlash as you consider who you want to be in the coming year.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Resolutions are often made from a place of trying to fix something that\u2019s gone wrong \u2014 but what if there\u2019s nothing to fix? What if it is about moving from an intentional place to get closer to leading the life that you actually want?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A resolution doesn\u2019t have to be \u201cthe end all be all\u201d answer to a problem. Instead, let\u2019s turn over the word \u201cresolution\u201d for ourselves. Yes, it can mean an answer or an ending, especially a happy one. (The problem here is that it implies the current situation needs some correction!) What about thinking of resolution as a process that ends with more clarity? A quick etymological diversion may be helpful here: The word \u201cresolution\u201d comes from the Latin resolvere<\/em> (“to loosen, undo, explain”), with the meaning of breaking something down into parts. That\u2019s why it can mean both finding the correct answer (an investigation breaks something down into parts in order to determine an answer) and increasing clarity (as in bettering the resolution of an image, where, for instance, you might increase the pixels).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

“Think about your resolution as a gradual change, getting ever clearer on the life you’re meant to lead.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In short, your resolution doesn\u2019t have to put an end to anything. Instead, think about forming your resolution by getting clearer on what you want in your life. There\u2019s a part of you that wants to move in this direction. Where does that come from? And what might it look like as a continuous practice? Cracking open a new way of being is hard work; that\u2019s why it is slow work. Think about your resolution as a gradual change, getting ever clearer on the life you’re meant to lead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Don\u2019t be afraid to enlist help<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

If your dreams still feel big and unwieldy, don\u2019t be afraid to admit that. Of course, most of our resolutions will be things that don\u2019t come naturally to us, that baffle us somehow. And if we leave ourselves alone with problems that we don\u2019t know how to solve, it\u2019s likely that we\u2019ll just spin our wheels. In fitness, career, finances, or wherever your focus may be, there\u2019s probably someone or something out there to help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

“Most of our resolutions will be things that don\u2019t come naturally to us, that baffle us somehow.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve written before about deciding when it is time to invest in yourself<\/a>. It\u2019s easy to get discouraged when the next step in our journey is unclear. I\u2019ve often put pressure on myself to have everything figured out before I even try something new. Being vulnerable is part of growth, and allowing ourselves not to know is the only way one can actually learn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Enlisting help can look many different ways \u2014 the most obvious being consulting an expert on how to approach your goal. Both the process of you discussing what you\u2019re after and the expertise of a professional can help you get clearer on how to move forward. But there are many different ways to enlist help. It can look like picking up a book from the library, going down a YouTube rabbit hole, getting involved in a hyper-specific Reddit thread, or asking your friends who seem to have the subject figured out. However you decide to move, gathering (and filtering) information is a helpful step as you\u2019re approaching something new. Be discerning with the advice you take \u2014 what works for some might not work for you \u2014 but don\u2019t be afraid to engage and see what sticks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Experiment to find what works for you<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Even if you decide to hire a professional to give you direction, it\u2019s still important to leave yourself open to experimentation and learning as part of your process. Often, our resolutions can get firm too quickly \u2014 and we might feel like we\u2019ve failed if we don\u2019t execute them exactly as we first envisioned. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For instance, if you want to get in better shape, make sure you\u2019re not forcing yourself to the gym with the expectation that\u2019s the only way to advance. You might find that you like working out at home, going to a Pilates reformer class, or joining a run club works much better for you. (While some others will be gym lovers, and that\u2019s okay, too!) Or if you\u2019re deciding to double down on your idea for a novel, make sure you\u2019re not overly committed to your writing process resembling the final product. You might need to take flights of experimental fancy, take daily walks to ideate, or join a writing group in order to progress. While not everything has to be utterly enjoyable on the way to your larger goal, your practice does have to work for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since you\u2019re trying to do something you haven\u2019t successfully stuck with before, allow yourself some grace as you and your plans evolve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

How to create a sustainable intention for your new year:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
    \n
  1. Begin with who you are<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Rather than imagining a more perfect future version of yourself, begin by embracing who you already are \u2014 your desires, your difficulties, your strengths. Ground your intention in what you genuinely want to do so that any new practice becomes a refuge, not a punishment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    1. Let go of the need to fix things<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Resolutions made from backlash or self-correction rarely last. Instead of trying to fix what feels wrong, think of your intention as a way to get closer to a life that\u2019s right for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n
      1. Consider enlisting help<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        When your goals feel big or baffling, it\u2019s okay to admit that you don\u2019t know yet how to reach them. Learning requires vulnerability, and support can come from many places \u2014 whether it be an expert, helpful book, or digital or IRL communities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          \n
        1. Leave room for experimentation and evolution<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          Leave room for your intention to evolve. Practices that stick are rarely rigid from the start; they emerge through experimentation, adjustment, and grace as you learn what actually works for you. This is about crafting something for yourself, after all!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          <\/div>\n\n\n\n

          Do you have a resolution for the new year? Let us know in the comments what you\u2019re aiming for and how you hope to accomplish it so that we can cheer you on! \u2728<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          \n\n\n\n

          Ashley D\u2019Arcy<\/strong> is the Senior Editor at The Good Trade. She holds an MA in Philosophy from The New School for Social Research and has contributed to esteemed outlets such as The Nation, 032c, and Yale School of Management\u2019s Insights where she\u2019s leveraged her expertise in making complex ideas accessible to a broad audience. In addition to her editorial work, she is training as a psychoanalytic mental health professional and provides care to patients in New York City. Ashley also explores sustainable fashion, clean beauty, and wellness trends, combining thoughtful cultural critiques with a commitment to mindful living.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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          Most years, I don\u2019t set resolutions. I\u2019ve always shied away from the endeavor, not bold enough to announce my intentions because \u2014 well, what if I didn\u2019t end up following through? 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